This is hard for me to admit.
After being diagnosed with PTSD this summer (2013), I keep remembering random memories from my past.
Me asking my mom what sex was like at three, my mom saying something about my cousin teaching my body to urinate often at six (or maybe five).
I have been depressed for as long as I can remember. I wanted to disappear from a very young age. The suicidal thoughts have been constant since around fourteen.
You'd think I'd be over it. I'm married to a wonderful man and I am almost 39 weeks pregnant with our first child, a girl named Faye. I love them both so much but I don't know...
How can I tell him that I think I was sexually abused as a child? I'd have to talk to my parents about it and that is not a conversation I want to have. At all.
Maybe I should go back on the antidepressants after Faye is born and leave it at that. But I also have a nagging feeling that I need to find out. But if I am a victim of abuse, will my husband still want me?
I'm a mess.
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